ACE Student Work 1: Picture Prompt ANP
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Given the assignment to bring to school a picture of a memorable event, the ACE student wrote an autobiographical narrative paragraph (ANP) of at least 8 sentences that was based on the photo. After writing Version 1.0, the paragraph was shown to a classmate in order for the writer to receive feedback of at least 5 questions from a reader/audience. Version 2.0 is a revision taking into account the questions of the reader/audience.
Feel free to comment or give feedback after each student's work.
Feel free to comment or give feedback after each student's work.
Version 1.0 of Alonzo Buenaflor
Alonzo Buenaflor 7-Luna/ACE Speak-Up paragraph June 30, 2014 I went to the U.S. for the first time last December 2012. I went there for my family reunion. On Christmas Eve, we all gathered in my uncle's house. My cousins and I were playing games such as Pinoy Henyo and Charades. After the games, we all ate the huge crabs prepared for us for dinner. Once we finished eating, we started taking pictures to remember the event. When we finished, we distributed the gifts. I remember getting a huge lego set and the entire "How to Train your Dragon" series. When we all got our gifts and said our good-byes, we went back to the hotel to get some sleep. This is one of the most memorable times in my life because we all gathered and had our reunion. I hope that we would have more reunions in the future. |
Version 2.0 of Alonzo Buenaflor
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Version 1.0 of Nico Salvador
Ethan Nicholas C. Salvador 7-Gomez version 1: Watching the school play can be fun, but being in it is even more exciting. During the matinee performance, all members of the play went to the Irwin Theatre really early, most of us ate breakfast there. Afterwards, we went to the dressing rooms to change into our costumes. Then we had a technical test to see if everything was working fine. It was around eight in the morning when the doors of the Irwin Theatre opened. Most of us were nervous, but we learned to enjoy the moments we had on stage. Then after tye intermission we began the second half of the play, everyone was on the edge of their seats to find out what will happen next. In the end, it was nice to see people laugh, smile and enjoying themselves. questions: 1.What is the name of the play 2.What was your role 3.When was the play 4.Why were you nervous 5.Why did you join the play |
Version 2.0 of Nico Salvador
Ethan Nicholas C. Salvador 7-Gomez version 2: Watching last school year's play can be fun, but being in it is even more fun. During February 8, all members of the play went to the Irwin Theatre really early, most of us ate breakfast there. Afterwards, we went to the dressing rooms to change into our costumes. Then, we had a technical test to see if everything was working. It was around eight in the morning when the doors of the Irwin Theatre opened, most of us were nervous due to the fact that there were many people. Eventually we learned to enjoy the moments we had on stage, this really helped me since I was playing one of the lead roles the Tweedly Twins. Afterwards, the second half of the play began, everyone was on the edge of their seats to find out what will happen next. In the end, it was nice to see people laugh, smile and enjoying themselves. |
Version 1.0 of Kean Agcaoili
Paragraph: One of my favorite experiences was in the Palarong Pambansa last summer. On that day, my team NCR, was up against Region IV-B Mimaropa. I was up at bat, full of confidence and I only had one thing in mind, "Hit the ball!". The pitcher threw the ball and I swung in a miss! Unfortunately, I foul-tipped the ball the second time and I am at 2 strikes now. And then, out of the blue, I just whacked the ball deep into center field. I dashed past through the infielders. But then, the outfielder threw the ball to third base but the third baseman missed it! So, I swiftly ran to homeplate. So that was an easy homerun for me, and my team won the game! This experience is truly a memory to be treasured! Questions: How many outs were there? Where was the palaro? What was the score? How did you feel after you won? Why is it unforgetable? |
Version 2.0 of Kean Agcaoili
Draft 2 Size 1: One of my most unforgetable memories is in the Palarong Pambansa in Laguna last summer. I was up against Region IV-B MIMAROPA. In the other hand, my team was the National Capital Region or in short NCR. My team was batting at the start if the game. Unfortunately, we didn't score in that inning. But then, the game started heating up; the scores went from 0-1, to 1-2 and then 2 all. I was then batting at that time and there was a runner on base. Afterwards, the pitcher threw the ball and I swung in a miss. On the second time, I felt more confident to hit the ball, so when he pitched it, I swung and I set it deep into center field! I let a run score and I was also trying real hard to reach home and I slid at it; I was safe. That homerun made my team win a 4-2 game, so that's why this event is truly unforgetable. One of my most unforgetable memories in the Palarong Pambansa in Laguna last summer. I was up against Region IV-B Mimaropa. In the other hand, my team was the National Capital Region or in short NCR. My team was batting at the start of the game. Unfortunately, we didn't score in that inning. Surprisingly, the game started to heating up; the score went from 0-1, to 1-2 and then 3-4. I was then batting at that time and there was a runner on base. Afterwards, the pitcher threw the ball and I swung in a miss. On the second time, I felt the urge and strength to hit the ball, so when he pitched it, I swung at it as hard as I could and I sent the ball flying deep in center field! I let a run score and then I was trying real hard to reach home and I slid: I was safe. That homerun made my team win, so that is why this event is truly unforgetable! |
Version 1.0 of Nio Tria
I love going to different countries. Last summer, I went to Japan. We arrived in Japan and then went to our hotel. The next day, we went to Universal Studios and rode really cool rides. The next morning we went to Kyoto and Nara. We learned many new things about their culture. We were going to Tokyo on a bullet train. When we arrived at Tokyo we had a city tour and had good Ramen. Next we went shopping to buy gifts for our family and friends. I went to Shibuya Station to see the statue of my favourite movie "Hachiko". I went back home relaxed and very joyful to learn and experience new things when i went to Japan. Travelling is one of my favourite things to do, I wish I would experience something like this again.
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Version 2.0 of Nio Tria
I love going to different countries. last summer, i went to osaka, japan with my mom. when we arrived in Japan we went to our hotel named Grand Osaka Hotel. i was very excited. the next day, we went to Universal Studios and rode really cool rides. The next morning we went to a tour at Kyoto and Nara. We learned many new things like Japanese characters and it was fairly easy and their culture. We were going to tokyo by bullet train the next day. When we arrived at Tokyo we had a city tour and then ate good Ramen. Next, we went shopping buy gifts for our friends and family. The last night in Japan, we went to Shibuya station to see a statue of my favourite movie and character "Hachiko". I got back home relaxed and very joyful to learn new things and experiences when I went to Japan. Travelling is one of my favourite things to do; I hope I could experience some thing like this again. |
Version 1.0 of Earl Eleazar
Over the years, I have had a lot of memorable experiences. My summer vacation two years ago was one of these experiences. When my family and I saw the gate to Universal Studios Singapore, we were amazed to see the enormous amount of people going around and taking pictures of the metal globe of the Universal Studios logo. Inside we immediately went to the futuristic section. There we saw mascots, rides and different kinds of souvenirs. I rode all the rides, even the rest of my family members rode the rides with me. Lastly, we ate all sorts of food in the food court which had dinosaur statues in it. We went home overjoyed and full. This is truly an event that I will never forget. 1. Why did you go to Universal Studios? 2. What did you eat there? 3. How old were you when you went there? 4. What did like about the place? 5. What else did you feel when you went home after the experience? |
Version 2.0 of Earl Eleazar
Over the years, I have had a lot of memorable experiences. One of these was my summer vacation when I was 10 years old. When my family and I saw the gate to Universal Studios Singapore, we were amazed to see the enormous amount of people going around and taking pictures of the metal globe of the Universal Studios logo. Inside we immediately went to the futuristic section. There we saw mascots, rides and different kinds of souvenirs. I rode all the rides, even the rest of my family members rode the rides with me. Lastly, we ate all sorts of food in the food court like laksa and pasta, but I especially liked the dinosaur statues in the food court. We went home overjoyed and full. This is truly an event that I will never forget. |
Version 1.0 of Seth Umipig
7- ACE / Gomez I don’t like weddings but after the 50th golden anniversary of my grandparent’s wedding, I suddenly liked it . It occurred on October 22 , 2011 in my home province, Pampanga . I was in grade 3 back then and I was really stubborn ,so I was really hesitant about going . I thought it was going to be really boring but it wasn’t in fact the only problem was that it was too hot. After the renewal me and my relatives went to eat on this buffet which was delicious . There was a reception where we ate , played games and talked . Finally , in the afternoon we went back home . After that day I now have a liking for weddings . Questions : Who were your grandparents ? Why did you like it ? Why didn’t you like weddings at first ? What were the food ? Why was it hot ? |
Version 2.0 of Seth Umipig
7-Gomez Autobiographical Paragraph (Revised) I really dislike weddings since you have to prepare for a lot of stuff like your clothes but after the wedding anniversary of my grandparents I changed my mind . On October 22, 2011 me , my relatives and my grandparents : Teodora and Florencio Garcia , went to Pampanga for the 50th Anniversary of their wedding. I was in grade 3 back then ,and I was really stubborn so I was hesitant about going. At first I thought it was going to be boring just like the other weddings but it wasn't boring at all . After the renewal ,my relative and I went to a buffet to eat lunch . We ate delicious food like chicken , pasta and pizza while talking and sharing stories . My family went back home to Manila feeling happy . Now every time my family goes to a formal event like a wedding , I always look forward to it . |
Version 1.0 of Mako Guarin
Whenever I go on vacations, all the fun usually comes from my family and friends. One Example is when I went white water rafting. This happened a few years ago, during summer vacation. We first went to the main area for a few reminders. Then, we went to the beginning of the river to set up the rafts, and began rafting. While doing so, we all enjoyed paddling, riding the rapids, and even avoided flipping our raft! At the end of the river, which was also the end of our trip, we had a delicious lunch, and we happily went back to the hotel. This was one of the times when I've had so much fun in a day. Questions: 1. What did you feel when you were rafting? 2. What were the names of the people you were with? 3. Where did you go rafting? 4. What was your favourite part of the trip? 5. What did you learn from this experience? |
Version 2.0 of Mako Guarin
Whenever I go on vacations, all the fun usually, if not, always come from family and friends. One example is when I went white water rafting in Cagayan de Oro. This happened a few years ago, during summer vacation. We first went to the main area for a few reminders. Then, we went up to the beginning of the river to set up the rafts, take a picture of everybody, and start rafting. We had 3 rafts, so we had 3 groups, and I was with my sister, dad, and some of our friends We all enjoyed paddling, riding the rapids (which was my favourite), and even avoided flipping the raft! At the end of the river, which was also the end of our trip, we had a delicious lunch, and we went back to our hotel. This was one of the times when I've had so much fun in a day. |
Version 1.0 of Jag Delfin
The day when my baby sister came back from the hospital may have been one of the best of my life. It happened in February, 2012. My family was celebrating each of our birthdays and we decided to celebrate my sister's too. She was just born and was only recently named Jill. And as usual, we had a party to celebrate it. I can't recall if it was a big party or a small social gathering. Although I can surely tell you hat I was happy. I was having so much fun! I only I could smile as much as I did that day everyday. -Why was your sister in the hospital? -What specific day was it? -When are your birthdays? -Why was it the best day of your life? -Why would you want to smile like you did that day? |
Version 2.0 of Jag Delfin
The day when my baby sister came back from the hospital after she was born may have been the best day of my life since a new member of my family came home. It happened in February, 2012 but I don't remember the specific date. My family was celebrating all of our birthdays during February, and we decided to celebrate my baby sister's birthday too. She was just born and only recently named Jill. And as usual, we had a party to celebrate her recent birth. I can't recall if it was a big party or a small gathering. Although, I can surely tell you that it was great whether big or small and that I was happy. I was having so much fun! If only I could smile as much as I did that day everyday since I loved that feeling. |
Version 1.0 of Marc Bascara
One of the most memorable moments in my childhood was when I first went to my grandfather's farm. I did many fun activities while I was there. The first thing that I did was walk around the farm so that I can explore and see the many things in his farm. Then, I saw his swimming pool so I decided to change to my trunks and swim in the pool. After I swam, I went fishing because there was a fish pond. My grandfather called and invited me to feed the farm animals so that I can learn how to feed pigs, chickens, cows, turkeys and more. I ate bulalo for lunch after I fed the animals. When I finished my food, I watched TV and played a few games in my mom's iPhone. Lastly, my family and I played 2 card games. It was an exhausting day but nevertheless a memorable one. What did you see inside the farm? Where is your grandfather's pool? Did you catch anything when you went fishing? How long did you feed the animals? (not applied) What are the names of the 2 card games? (not applied) |
Version 2.0 of Marc Bascara
One of the most memorable moments in my childhood was when I first went to my grandfather's farm in Boso-Boso. I did many fun activities while I was there. The first thing that I did was walk around the farm so that I can explore and see the many things in his farm. While I was walking, I saw crops, vegetables, farmers and animals. Then, I saw his swimming pool which is beside the hut where they eat so I decided to change to my trunks and swim in the pool. After I swam, I went fishing on a fish pond and after about 30minutes of fishing, I finally caught a tilapia, though it was pretty small. My grandfather called and invited me to feed the farm animals so that I can learn how to feed pigs, chickens, cows, turkeys and more. I ate bulalo for lunch after I fed the animals. When I finished my food, I watched TV and played a few games in my mom's iPhone. Lastly, my family and I played 2 card games. It was an exhausting day but nevertheless a memorable one. |
Version 1.0 of Manuel D. Zafra III
7-Bonifacio Man, what an interesting experience, and also a cold one too. It is when me and my family went to the capital city of Cordillera, Baguio. We first went to Burnham Park to ride a duck boat around the lake. Then, we went to Minesview Park and dressed ourselves as Igorots. Third, we travelled to PMA to see military vehicles like tanks. We then proceeded to other places like Camp John Hay, Mansion Park to take pictures, and we rode horses in Wright Park. Then, we went to Lourdes Grotto and finally, we visited a strawberry farm where I, for the first time, harvested strawberries, and they were sweet! This helped me realize that there is a lot to go in our country and we can travel to those place in contrary to travelling in foreign countries. When did you go there? What is a “duck boat”? Why did you go to Baguio? What did you do in Lourdes Grotto? How did it let you realize this? |
Version 2.0 of Manuel D. Zafra III
7-Bonifacio Man, what an interesting journey, and a cold one too. It is when me and my family, during the Christmas break, went to the capital city of Cordillera, Baguio to know what is it like in this cold city. We first went to Burnham Park to ride a boat that looks like a swan around the lake. Then, we went to Minesview Park and dressed ourselves as Igorots. What’s next is we travelled to PMA to see military weaponry like tanks. We then proceeded to other places like Camp John Hay and Mansion Park to take pictures, and we rode horses in Wright Park. After we were done with those, we visited the Lourdes Grotto to pray to Mother Mary for a safe journey back home. While we were travelling back home, we stopped by a strawberry farm to know how to properly harvest them. This helped me realize that there is a lot to go in our country as there is a lot of things and places that who knew that existed. |